I'm not supposed to be writing this

coz i'm at work!!! 

What goes on in your mind?

Today, I drew on CSP using the lasso tool which was a riot. So clean and dynamic!!! I also watched yet another movie, Drive-Away Dolls, absolutely perfect, and then I biked to my friend's house and had rice with thịt băm plus chicken nuggets and Cheez Whiz. Overall a very nice day 💘

I'm talking about WORK!!!

Just kidding. It's another slow day. I tried out that barista job :333 Then I hopped over to my friend's house to clean her closet for 5 hours with a lunch break. I copped like 6 items she didn't want anymore #productive

I love free time, but having things to do is super fun!!!!!!!! And my new job is luckily not that demanding. Yay!

Slow day :P

Today I decorated my new diary/everything book with some stickers, did a bit of junk journaling and painting, then I read. True Rapunzel schedule, minus the chores LMAOOO.

I watched Nobody, the Chinese cartoon movie yesterday. Holy PEAK. I don't want this to become a movie blog, but oh my god. That movie changed my life. 2D animation forever and ever.

Tomorrow I'm trying out a new J-O-B. Hehe.

 

The magic of not knowing anybody

I went to the club last night but... it was so crowded I could barely see the drag show. 250k wasteddd. Either way the four of us went to the only sushi restaurant in the red light district open that late and we ate and chatted until last order. We should've taken the train home but we totally forgot it ran so early. The four of us, all Sex and the City. I love my girlies <333

Guitar again (+local films)

I'm learning Never Meant - American Football and I understand why they are so loved! I've been looking for something stimulating to play on guitar recently and Midwest emo hits the sweet spot!!!

I've been going to this local film showcase. I've noticed that Viet films can be big, dramatic and funny, but the ones that really truly stick with me are the mellow, dreamy more sentimental ones. I watched one called Hạc Giấy (Tsuru) which was about this little girl who really likes origami and lost her mother in a storm. It's set in 2009 and there's a scene where she's dragged along to her dad's company get together party and has to sit in the corner looking down, and later (being the only kid there) she wanders outside and just stares at the fluorescent lit snail tanks of this seemingly vacant restaurant. The adults karaoke'd Sóng Tình - MTV which is one of my millennial faves. Her bedroom is by the seafront so the view out her window (which we saw a lot) was like in a dream. I guess I could compare it to Spirited Away, the train scene. Ish, I dunno, it reminded me more of Ponyo.

I'm heading out again today to watch the remaining batch of movies ^^ so excited!!!

 

Sashimi world

I went out last night, brought my laptop with every intention of 1) finishing up my assignment and 2) catching a movie showing at Reading Cabin. Instead I 1) went thrifting with a friend, 2) went to the park, 3) lost my phone and had to go back to the park, and 4) fell asleep at 1am, only having opened my laptop to go on find my phone.

Now I am submitting the assignment one hour late. I thought it was due at 5pm! It's alright tho, I never gaf about this class much, and who's gonna be using ADOBE in 2067?

My interests as of late are actually quite shallow. Gossip, headlines, fantasies, drama. I love trash! I need trash. I can't have fun without being a nosy bitch, it's part of my natural curiosity. Is it an 18-year-old thing to love gossip? Should I get a job?

Speaking of jobs, I might get one. My friend has this cafe that's really close by, and why not? I've been unemployed since last January, after leaving the shittiest job possible.

I just finished watching Amélie. Holy peak. She's just like me for real. I love the whimsical score and the color grading. I can't tell you how much 2024 me woulda loved it, like how 2023 me woulda loved Lisa Frankenstein or The Virgin Suicides or Girl, Interrupted. I do love The Virgin Suicides but Girl, Interrupted is definitely more of a 2023 staple. I think they're all great movies, but maybe I'd already moved on in my tastes I guess? Teen angst doesn't really appeal to me much anymore. EXCEPT Skins UK and Sugar Rush, my top shows atm.

Am I growing "up" "too" fast? This sexless sterile 2020s recessioncore adolescence? I've barely grown at all. You know what I mean.

I love sashimi. The taste and the coldness and the fatty texture. I love sashimi. It's one of life's pure fucking joys. I would eat it every weekend. If I had a bike I would drive to the cheap sushi place around Q7 every other day and order the 90k set of 6 sashimi pieces, 3 salmon and 3 tuna. Now I'm getting an appetite.

Today I need to print my assignment, get my piercing checked and then I have a dinner date with the girlies! We're getting big fat juicy burgers. YUMMMM.

SO HECTIC

I stayed up and out for 16 hours to run a deadline with my bestie 2 days ago, which is why I didn't write. Right now I'm listening to some queercore punk metal etc on a ytmusic playlist. Scratch that, it's PinkPantheress now.

Honestly, YTM Revanced is so much easier to crack than Spotify... and you can upload your own versions of songs without getting taken down, and you're not giving any money to war.

I'm also watching Amélie, which I almost finished a couple months ago, but the Internet Archive was buggin on me so I gave up. I love that autistic little freak. How come the most detestable people get the best national cinema?

Design school... god I'm so glad I'm semi-done with everything.

I have no thinkpieces today... 

Diaries (+reflections on the past 3 months)

Journaling is super fun!!!! I have been journaling for about 10 years now (since I was in grade 4).

I have around 15 diaries and counting. Each of them span from 6 months to a year. I try to archive them on my computer but there's just so much to archive! My entire adolescence is on paper. Dailys, notes, drawings, manifestos, social experiments, logs...

I love you

I haven't been journaling like I used to, in school I would write page after page a day about my hyperfixations and stories. Now that the stories come from outside my head, I don't really write it down??

I used to vlog as well. Used to shove my phone at people's faces just to pass the time. That felt weird and violating once I moved, and I'm still not comfortable being on camera myself.

Control. Everybody craves it. These past few months I have been craving control over everything. But I realized something recently: I've been framing it all wrong. Instead of "Am I gonna finish this assignment or not?" I started going "What playlist are we putting on while we finish the assignment?" and it's gotten much better. It's all in the head.

Control over my voice, something still elusive to me. I learned not to speak loud by middle school. When I got a shitty supermarket job tho, that became an obstacle. People can't hear you! I never used to be that good at communicating. Cancer Mercury stand up.

Childhood is so unwhimsical. The moments you crave are limited to the nights spent staring out the window, dreaming of sneaking out, dreaming of secret doors and secret boys from secret magical schools, and the days at the functions full of strangers, wallflowering and fantasizing about each one's life, like a camera. The thrill of listening to the car radio fully dressed to go to your mom's company shindig or a family dinner, that thrill always surpassed the event itself.

But then there's the simpler stuff. Roleplaying, drawing, roughousing and being a generally unpleasant mess.

After aka the best band ever

ADHD childhood, there was a charm to it. It was like being a feral housecat. My hobbies were showing off, playing and telling stories. My dislikes were showering and brushing my teeth on my own. I hated people without shame. I was the definition of ungraceful. I loved myself with the confidence of a boy, but I didn't like the way I was at all. Private school may have softened me a bit neurologically, but it was the best choice at the time.

So yeah, I wouldn't want everyone to be more childlike again. Children are the rawest versions of people, and if Typhoon Club taught me anything, it's that refusing to grow up will fuck with you in ways you can't imagine. I want to grow and stay malleable as a child.

I didn't think this blog would get so long, phew. Well, I'm off to get some lunch now. 

I just made a new blog! (+Heated Rivalry)

Hello blogspot!!!! My layout is still fugly but I'm glad to be a part of something slow and banal again. I named my blog after a Tommy February6 song and the title after a lyric from a song by The Like. I love them both so bad.

It's 12 in the morning rn and I have tons of work to get done but here I am making a blog LOL.

I've been really into that Heated Rivalry show. It's nice, old school fangirl fun. I miss liking something like that, that wasn't freakin Voltron... It's nice to remember my fandom roots.

Shane is a painfully underdeveloped character tho. I love Svetlana and Rose, but I wish they had more screen time. Ilya has the most solid character building, I don't think anyone's disagreeing with me there. Scott and Kip, I just know they're gonna get a spinoff series. And Ilya and Sasha's lore... some exposition on that would be cool. Shane and Jennifer as well, whoever she is.

I haven't read the books and I don't really plan to. I heard they're not all that great, but Jacob Tierney did an amazing job. Putting me on t.A.T.u. in 2026 is crazy.

I traded some art merch for 2 t.A.T.u. CDs the other day. They are soooo good. My favorite song is the album opener, as usual.

That club scene tho, gah damn.